Disclaimer: I don’t hate everyone. There are a lot of amazing and kind people in the world. Just that I haven’t met too many of them.
“Take down that picture. You look scary.”
“Why aren’t you eating? Are you on a diet?”
“That top makes you look fat.”
“You’re so ugly.”
“You’re so dumb.”
“You’re so mean.”
“Wait, why are you so angry?”
“I’m not an asshole. I’m such a nice, cute, respectful person. Why would you call me that?”
I’m so done with human beings. I used to believe in Carl Roger’s assumption about humans that they’re innately good. I used to give them the benefit of doubt. Even when people said the wrong things, I believed that maybe it is because they didn’t know the effect there words or actions can have on people. I don’t believe all of that anymore. Not because I’m depressed and disappointed with my life at the moment. If there came a time when I met nice people more than I met horrible creatures, I would start believing in humanity again.
I don’t understand how people don’t know this already. It’s legit common sense. But still, for all the people in the back, let me say this once.
Everything has consequences. Even words.
It’s very easy to comment on someone’s looks, body, talent, manner of speaking- anything. It is tougher to be on the other end of it. Breaking someone else’s ladder won’t make you any taller. It will only make you an asshole. So please, please, please think before you speak. Go over it in your head. There was this really amazing thing one of my teachers once said in class- “Whenever you want to write, think of yourself as the reader. You’ll automatically start to write better.” The same goes for speaking. Try thinking of how it would sound if someone said it to you. If there’s the slightest chance it might be hurtful, ABORT MISSION.
Those above lines, they have happened to me. And when I called him out on his bullshit and told him to stop messaging me, he told me I was abusing him. He, like so many more people, forgot to check his privilege.
Don’t say abuse until you’re crawling on the floor with bits and pieces of shattered glass and dignity sticking out of your knees. Don’t say abuse until you’ve made excuses for the person who makes you cry yourself to sleep every night. Don’t tell me abuse until you’ve been told you’re worthless and should die by the person who is supposed to love you to the moon and back. Abuse is not your next door cat who slinks into your house on laxy summer days that you can pet when you wish. Abuse is the monster under your bed that haunts you every night.
That’s the second thing I want to talk about today. Don’t use words you don’t know the meaning of. It’s easy to use ‘depressed’, ‘OCD’, ‘bipolar’ and ‘retard’ as adjectives. It’s sad how we have normalized such horrendous things to a point where casually saying those things is perfectly socially acceptable but actually admitting that you’re going through the same or asking for help is a taboo.
Why does someone have to die before we realize that maybe we need to start censoring our tongue? And I know a lot of you people will read this and think, “Oh, but I’m not like that. I don’t say mean stuff.” If you don’t, that’s great. You’re a unicorn. I applaud you. But remember, none of the mean people think they’re mean. They sincerely believe they’re good and/or funny people too. So my only plea is, next time you’re about to say something, first think of what would happen after you speak. Be kind. Be human. If in doubt, don’t crack that joke or make that comment. And please, please, please don’t use words that you do not know or are unsure of the meaning of. For you, it’s just a word. For someone else, it’s reality.
We all make the world a better place one human being at a time. Let’s do our part.