BREAKING NEWS: CHIVALRY THREATENS FEMINISM AT GUNPOINT.

It has been reported that Chivalry was accused of threatening Feminism at gunpoint. Feminism was found sobbing on the ground when the police was called. Filing in a report, it was in tears as it said, “Chivalry tried to carry my stuff for me.” Sob. “It threatened me that if I didn’t take my terror down a notch, it will follow me around everywhere and open every door for me before I can.” Sob, sob.

Eyewitnesses present at the scene were reluctant to give their accounts for half of them were scared down to their core. “How can we ever tell our children that the world is a safe place?” cried a woman in despair.

Chivalry hasn’t been available for questioning since then. Its whereabouts are still unknown. Neighbors haven’t seen any activity in its house since a decade. It is, in fact, not even sure whether it is alive.

This just in. Anna reporting live from Earth. Stay tuned to know more.

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Yep. And the others that treat women as equal to them and capable of opening a damn door are actually made of porcelain. What, you thought we called them Ken dolls for nothing?

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The most famous debate against feminism is men accusing feminists of being hypocrites. They say that we want to be treated like equal but still expect them to pay on the first date.

Well, hello from the other side. I don’t. I prefer to pay on my own for my own food. Money doesn’t grow on trees but it doesn’t on penis either so I don’t know what the big deal is about. Taking turns in taking each other out for dinner is something I can go along with. But if you start being a rich bitch and fight for the cheque every damn time, you’re on my shit list. Because I sincerely can’t handle a person trying to show masculinity by waving their bank account at my face. Seriously, if I was in for the money, wouldn’t I be a hooker?

Acting surprised and slightly disgusted now, are we? Well, don’t be because that’s exactly what we feel like when you show financial superiority. Yes, it is superiority to assume you are the only one who can pay for the first date. There are many things that parents didn’t teach us right.

The word ‘chivalry’ was used in medieval times for bravery in war. It was the code of conduct for knights and noblemen. Even something as basic as not lying is a commandment of chivalry. Historically, it does propound proper respect where it is warranted but not specifically towards any gender.

Chivalry is an honorable and polite way of behaving. I like chivalrous people and when I say that, I mean people who are chivalrous towards everybody, not just women. My problem with chivalry isn’t that it makes humans act like humans for a change. The problem is its one-sidedness. It is so focused on being nice to women that overtime it has come to be seen as something that women exclusively need. There are only a handful, a very teeny tiny small handful, of men who can say that they would run and help a man their age and size if he’s struggling with heavy bags on the parking lot, the same way they would for a woman. Why, you ask me? Because somehow the aforementioned men would feel “weak” and “snubbed” or “ridiculed”. Their manliness would come into question.

But doing that for a woman? No problem. Even if she is two inches taller and evidently works out more than you do, she is a girl. How dare you not help, you impudent twat?
I’m not saying it’s a bad thing to help girls. Don’t get me wrong. Just please erase this notion of chivalry from your head. It’s being human. Extend that courtesy to every single person, regardless of their gender. That’s what would make you a gentleman.

The reason feminists have so long waged a war against chivalry is not because they do not like to be treated with respect or they are hypocrites of some kind. It is because this is just another thing that subtly reinforces the doctrines of patriarchy by putting women in a somewhat weaker position,  whether physically or financially. If a man wants to give a woman his jacket in the cold or hold her hand during crossing the road, that’s perfectly fine. What’s not fine is when the man thinks that the woman is fundamentally incapable of crossing the road on her own or taking care of herself in harsh weather.

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