Ingredients Of Almost Every Erotica:

  • Alpha Male- hot, dominating, an asshole with a dark past
  • A feisty submissive woman who takes all the shit the Alpha Male doles out and still falls in love with him
  • Hot, raunchy sex which is the only thing that makes both of them stay in love even when one wants to leave


*insert sigh*


I’m going to say this once and only once. An Alpha Male does not take submissive females or degrades them or pushes them down in the name of protecting them.

Okay, I’m glad we got through that.

Let’s talk about the term Alpha Male. It comes from animals, just so you know. Like wolves, for example, always have one wolf that leads the pack. That’s the Alpha Male. He’s not the most aggressive, contrary to popular belief, just a good leader. He dominates, takes care of everyone, is the most powerful and the smartest and that’s why he’s the damn Alpha. Because even if he’s challenged, he can hold his own, not just because his father handed him down the throne. In human social situations, it’s the same but apparently a lot of books and movies keep sending out the wrong message. You cannot be an asshole in the name of dominating.


Let’s be real here for a second. If someone said that shit to me, that man- and I don’t care if he looks like Dwayne Johnson- is gonna get bitch slapped across the face. Not only will any self-respecting woman leave after being treated like shit, she will never come back and for good reason. If you treat someone badly, they’re not going to stay, and being an “Alpha Male” does not give you a free pass.

Moreover, an Alpha Male (I’m talking about the animals because we all seem real inspired by them) will never take a submissive as a mate because, one, he will not be attracted to someone who is not of equal power and two, his offsprings will not be strong enough if he mates with a weaker female. Dominating in and out of the bedroom are two different things and just because a woman will let you tie her down, doesn’t mean she can’t kick your ass if you’re being a bitch. Meanwhile, all the women in them damn eroticas be like:


Aw, poor me. *sob, sob*

If someone calls me Little One, Baby Doll, Princess or anything along those lines, I might just puke. On the said someone. It’s fine until we’re little girls and our fathers call us that. It’s not fine when our boyfriends call us the same. To me, it feels like fantasy pedophilia. Extreme, I know, but that’s just me.

Here’s the deal. You can be insanely hot and have a bank balance of eight digits and have women flocking around you. It will not make you an Alpha Male. It will make you a lucky bastard. Alpha Males are not born, they are made. Unless you know how to respect a woman- in fact, respect everyone- and not be an asshole, stop kidding yourself. Be a nice guy. I swear it’s not a vagina-holders-only trait.

This is coming from a reader’s point of view:

  • Write books where the female characters are strong and do not take abuse.
  • Don’t make heroes abusive. Christian Grey might use whips in the bedroom but he never raised a hand on Anastasia. It not only ratifies people to treat women that way, it also makes women in abusive relationships justify the actions of their men.
  • Try to make a love story that’s not solely focused on the sex. Sex should be good, no doubt, but that shouldn’t be the only thing holding the two together.
  • There’s a difference between confidence and over confidence. It’s nice to be with a man who knows what he’s doing. It’s absolutely frustrating when he thinks he’s the only one who knows what to do.
  • Bossy is fine but suffocating isn’t.

Here’s to a new era of Alpha Males. Ya know, the ones who don’t have to yell that they are Alpha Males.