The Mystery Of The Missing Post

*takes out my twentieth century magnifying glass*

Yes, Velma, I always carry a magnifying glass. Signs of a good detective. Anna – 1, Doubters – 0.

Twas the night before Monday, when all through my blog

Not a like was stirring, not even a dialog.

The posts were hung by the front page with care

In hopes that another one soon would be there.

The writer was nestled all snug in her bed,

While visions of a new post danced in her head.

So she opened her laptop, and wore the creative cap,

And settled in for a long sarcastic rant.

When out on her page there arose such a clatter,

She sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window she flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.

When, what to her wondering eyes should appear,

The same old page that had previously been there.

The brand new post was nowhere to be seen,

It left her wondering where it could have been.

She opened her settings and checked the trash,

But her long ass post did not appear in the stash.

She searched high, and then she searched low,

She searched until there was nowhere to go.

So she sprang to her sleigh, to her self esteem gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

And she heard her post exclaim, ‘ere it drove out of sight,

The mystery of the missing post will never come to light.

The non-poetic version: I WROTE A HUGE POST WITH GREAT ADVICE ABOUT WORLD PEACE (HELLO, VOTE FOR ME FOR WORLD PRESIDENT) AND IT DISAPPEARED. IT IS NOWHERE. AND EVEN THOUGH THE IDEA WAS A GOOD ONE, I WILL NEVER FEEL MOTIVATED ENOUGH TO REWRITE IT. IT IS LOST BETWEEN THE SPACES OF THE UNIVERSE, NEVER TO BE FOUND AGAIN. AND IF SOME UNAWARE SPACESHIP DETECTS IT FLOATING IN SPACE AND MANAGE TO DECIPHER IT, CONGRATULATIONS, THEIR PLANET IS GOING TO BE WAY MORE PEACEFUL THAN OURS.

Kay, I’m all screamed out. Do any of you guys have a clue why that happened though? Has it happened to anyone else? Because if it hasn’t, then I’m worried the ghost who haunts the hallways of my house has managed to sneak into my laptop.

Toodles!

Warm regards,

Part Time Sidney Sheldon